Leakage, as you might be aware, is a woman’s WORST enemy. Procter & Gamble have built an empire from the manufacture of products that purport to prevent leakage. But Kotex and Always have yet to come out with something that works on ROOFS.

What I need right now is some serious leakage protection…like a Really, Really, Really-Maxi Maxi Pad. Big enough to sop up the entire sky on those ‘heavy days’.

Believe me, PMS has nothing on what I’m feeling now. My roof is leaking. There is a bucket on my poor mother-in-law’s bed (as well as in three other places). I have slit the ceiling in her bedsitting room in several spots with an xacto-blade so the water would run out instead of making huge bubbles in the drywall. My husband is going to kill me when he gets home from work.
Nine years and two days of marriage—will this leak spell the end for us?

Oh, and it gets even better. I’ve been using a turkey baster to suction the water off the roof.

Now, before you spit out your drink laughing hysterically, let me just say that I had to quickly improvise, and son-of-a-gun, it actually seems to work pretty good, because the water is too shallow for a cup to be of any use up there.

And I’m not using just any old turkey baster—this is my special Mackie turkey baster, which I picked up at a NAMM Convention in Anaheim about 10 or so years ago. Mackie is a company that makes mixing boards and other pro audio gear.
Usually, trade show swag is useless. But not today…

The guys who are working on our patio are going to have some good stories when they get home tonight—telling their friends all about the crazy lady on her roof with a turkey baster.
Actually, they were probably feeling a bit of pity for me as I ranted about the yard, screaming repetitive expletives and raving on about how it figures this would happen on a long weekend…
...and how it figures that it would be right when we’ve parted with any extra money we might have had to get it fixed…
... and how it figures it waited until the @#$%^ oak floor was in before unleashing its fury upon me.
One of them said they should take a picture (of me on the roof), and since I haven’t posted any photos of myself here yet, I let him have my camera. Here’s me with my trusty turkey baster:

technorati tags: houseblog, DIY, roofing, leaking+roof, desperate+housewife

You may be wondering about the lack of activity here on the blog…well, I’ve been keeping busy—just not here. A lot has been happening…like interlocking brick!

It’s a mucky job, but I am liking the idea of no more sand coming into the house. Yes, most people would have opted to finish siding the place first, but the weather’s still too cold, rainy and damp for painting shingles.

”

I’m heading back outside—there’s O-pipe to deal with (drainage), lots more brick to lay (there’s a bit of a retaining wall happening to deal with a yard that slopes upwards from the back of the house), and later there will be muddy laundry and probably a tub to clean.

Oh…friggin’ great…Martha just informed me her ceiling is leaking. Again. Gotta go.

This is shaping up to be a fine long weekend!

technorati tags: houseblog, DIY, landscaping, futility